One story at a time

After years and years of living with yourself. Through all the late night quarrels between your heart and your brain. The longest relationship you’ve had with a person is no one else but yourself. How do you think your relationship really is?

Don’t sugarcoat it like you do it with the guys, tell us, if it’s a beautiful one with a few days of ups and downs (especially once a month where you vs you are ready to sign the divorce papers), or is it just plain toxic where you both just get each other into trouble, always.

What actually is considered a healthy relationship anyway? Especially the one with yourself, how do you stop yourself from the going down the spiral of self sabotaging? In a world where women are willing to quite themselves or adjust just to fit in, what exactly are the green or red flags in this kind of relationship?

Let’s talk about a friend of a friend of a friend, who has been dating since she was 15. After more than a decade of dating men she has no clue whatsoever what it’s like being alone. And I am sure this friend of a friend of a friend is not the only girl who’s in a mediocre relationship just because. She’s tolerant about the non-commitment from the guy’s end just as long as he is physically available in that relationship.

What do you think would happen if she shifted her willingness from the guy and willingly stayed with herself, even though the other part of her doesn’t want to be in this relationship, just like the guy? That’s right, for better or worse this time spent with herself will somehow turn out to be more fruitful than it would with that guy.

This relationship with yourself that we’re talking about is as complicated as it gets through the years.. as women you’re going to come across a new feeling, disorder, imbalance, syndromes (emotional and hormonal) every year of your life. You will have to juggle your work and laundry and your gut (if you have a weakass gut like mine), all of it while bleeding. If you’re the woman who wants to start a family (no, you don’t get any cookie points for that) you have to chip in extra hard to make things go.

Despite it all, you know who’s the one person who’s going to be there for you? Without the vows in front of god, without the friendship bracelets, without the promises of being there forever, you. If you’re lucky you may have a few people who will see your journey, maybe even wish you good in it but you’re the only one who lives it. Nobody else.

So tell me again how is my friend’s friend doing an understandable thing by investing her time in a guy who is just there, no more.

And tell me why aren’t you out there loving yourself like you should be loved, by you and nobody else? Go on, take a look in the mirror and smile at that face, for you know that face there, has your back, till the end.